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Frank & Funny Cards




FF BIRTHDAY - 37% of young people check Facebook right after sex ...
Inside: Don't worry. You haven't had sex with a young person in years. Happy birthday! - Costaki Economopoulos
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
5246
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FF BIRTHDAY - A little health tip for your birthday ...
Inside: I heard a banana a day is a good way to help keep our colon clean. Turns out you're supposed to eat them. - Dwight York
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Item No:
4721
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FF BIRTHDAY - Advice to live by now that you're older: When the opportunity presents itself ...
Inside: Pee. (Happy birthday.) - Bengt Washburn
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Item No:
5050
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FF BIRTHDAY - As we get older, things don't work as well as they used to...
Inside: Which is fine by me. I haven't wanted to work in years. Happy birthday! - Costaki Economopoulos
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5051
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FF BIRTHDAY - As you get older you might notice a few new wrinkles ...
Inside: That's just your body making room for dessert. Happy Birthday. - Bengt Washburn
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
5136
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FF BIRTHDAY - Birthdays come faster every year.
Inside: Like someone else I know. - Matthew Wohlfarth
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Item No:
4930
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FF BIRTHDAY - Do you ever find yourself making love but thinking about something totally different ...?
Inside: Like, "Oh! I've got to remember to pick up a birthday card." - Happy Birthday. - David Crowe
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
5137
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FF BIRTHDAY - Every time you have a birthday...
Inside: I feel old. - David Cornel
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5138
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FF BIRTHDAY - Facebook suggested I "like" your birthday.
Inside: It also suggested I like Cheese Whiz, adult diapers, and Crazy Dave's Used Car Castle. So let's not get too full of ourselves. - Greg Schwem
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Item No:
5053
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FF BIRTHDAY - For your birthday I bought you a goldfish from the pet store.
Inside: I know aquariums can be a pain so I left it the goldfish at the pet store. You can visit anytime. He's the orange one. - David Crowe
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Item No:
4734
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FF BIRTHDAY - For your birthday, I was going to make you a list of all the benefits of growing older.
Inside: But, by the time I found my glasses, I forgot what I was doing. - Art Krug
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
4719
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FF BIRTHDAY - Funny how our tastes change when we get older.
Inside: I hated to get a spanking as a child. - Troy Davis
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4932
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FF BIRTHDAY - Get well soon.
Inside: I planned ahead because I know how you'll feel tomorrow. (Happy birthday.)
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5779
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FF BIRTHDAY - Half a harry birthday.
Inside: That damn autocorrect! Have a Happy Birthday! - Greg Schwem
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4730
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FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday ...
Inside: And so forth. - Tom Rhodes
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4733
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FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday to a wonderful person! You're bright, colorful, attractive, hot, fun.
Inside: Just like all the candles on your birthday cake!
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6206
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FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me.
Inside: Oh, it's your birthday.  Thunder stealer.  (Have a good one.)
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Item No:
5781
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FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday to the most amazing, smart, funny, and attractive person in the whole world.
Inside: Your Mom picked out the card. - Joe Larson
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Item No:
4735
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FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday!
Inside: The gift without the name tag is from me. - Robert Mac
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Item No:
4732
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FF BIRTHDAY - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Inside: I hope you have a wonderful day full of Facebook notifications from people you haven't seen since high school.
Price:
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Item No:
5780
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FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday! For your eyes only!
Inside: Do me a favor. I couldn't think of anything to write, so please pretend that you're reading something really touching, maybe even wipe away a tear, and then look at me and say, "That is so beautiful. I didn't know you could write like that." Then if anyone asks to see the card, refuse, and tell them it was just too personal. Thanks, I owe you one. - Elliott Maxx
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Item No:
4723
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FF BIRTHDAY - Happy Birthday! Life doesn't get any better than this ...
Inside: After a certain age, that sounds more like a threat than a promise.
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Item No:
6207
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FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday, and remember: life is short.
Inside: And it is very sensitive about it so just don't bring it up, okay? - Tom Clark
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Item No:
4827
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FF BIRTHDAY - Happy birthday. I read that as we get older our ears keep growing.
Inside: Shouldn't our hearing be getting better and not worse? - Matt Wohlfarth
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5339
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FF BIRTHDAY - How's it going ...
Inside: Sorry, I'm not good at picking out cards. Happy birthday. - Austin Acree
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5247
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FF BIRTHDAY - I got you a cake for your birthday. It's gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free, sugar-free, vegan, cruelty-free.
Inside: Ok, I'm not sure that there is any actual cake in it, but it is cake shaped. - Spencer Dobson
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5342
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FF BIRTHDAY - I got you a pet spider for your birthday. It's very small, poisonous, and somewhere in this envelope.
Inside: His name is Bobo.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5782
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FF BIRTHDAY - I love birthdays. The presents, the cake, the balloons ...
Inside: The colonoscopies, the EKG's, the bone density tests. Enjoy the festivities! - Cathy Ladman
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5057
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FF BIRTHDAY - I much prefer getting blank greeting cards to getting the prewritten ones with impersonal sentiments.
Inside: So you go ahead and fill this out just how you like it. - Cathy Ladman
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4934
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FF BIRTHDAY - I read that satori is a state of near-enlightenment when your mind is completely devoid of thoughts.
Inside: All this time you thought you were having "senior moments." It turns out you're a Zen master! Happy Birthday! Elliot Maxx
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4722
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FF BIRTHDAY - I sent you this card because licking an envelope is the only socially acceptable way to send spit to people.
Inside: Happy birthday. - Craig Fay
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
5915
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FF BIRTHDAY - I was going to send you a Happy Birthday note on Facebook.
Inside: But wasn't sure if you wanted people to know we're friends. Happy Birthday. - Costaki Economopolous
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4935
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FF BIRTHDAY - Life is a lot like a penis:
Inside: It never seems to be long enough, but try to have fun with it anyway. - Matthew Wohlfarth
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4937
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FF BIRTHDAY - LIttle girls know something that adults have forgotten:
Inside: Anyone, and I mean anyone, can wear a crown if they want to. Happy Birthday. - David Crowe
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Item No:
5139
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FF BIRTHDAY - May the sun always shine down on you.
Inside: As a constant reminder that there is a giant nuclear powered fireball in the sky just barely holding it together. Happy birthday. - Craig Fay
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5140
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FF BIRTHDAY - Remember when you used to tell me how charismatic, good-looking, and amazing I was?
Inside: Well, at your age, memory is the first thing to go. Happy birthday. - Earl Musick
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4832
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FF BIRTHDAY - Some days I feel so lazy I want someone else to finish my thoughts.
Inside: Happy birthÖ - Patti Vasquez
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$5.95 ea
Item No:
5252
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FF BIRTHDAY - The best part about getting older is ...
Inside: All the music you love can be found in the record store dollar bin.  Happy Birthday! - Paul Lyons
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5921
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FF BIRTHDAY - The golden rule says to love others as you love yourself.
Inside: But you can't just walk around touching people like that. Enjoy your birthday (in moderation). - Robert Hawkins
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4725
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FF BIRTHDAY - The Lord moves in mysterious ways.
Inside: So do white guys on the dance floor. It's your birthday. Cut a rug! - Elliot Maxx
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4836
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FF BIRTHDAY - There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time ... A year or so to be exact.
Inside: Happy birthday!
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6217
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FF BIRTHDAY - They say we get better with age, like a fine wine.
Inside: But I've had some wine that was too old. Just saying! Happy Birthday. - Costaki Economopoulos
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4938
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FF BIRTHDAY - They say wisdom comes with age.
Inside: Which might be why people think you're younger than you are. Happy birthday! - Patti Vasquez
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5070
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FF BIRTHDAY - They say you can't get too much of a good thing.
Inside: Wish we would have been part of that study. - Dwight York
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4939
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FF BIRTHDAY - Those who say you can't have your cake and eat it too ...
Inside: Clearly have no idea how to work a fork. Happy birthday!
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6219
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FF BIRTHDAY - Unfortunately, I can't be with you on your birthday and must send my regrets. I regret making prank phone calls on a traceable line. I regret going to a bargain tattoo shop. I regret not using the restroom before I went skydiving. I regret .
Inside: I regret not being with you on your big day. Happy birthday!
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6220
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FF BIRTHDAY - We're so much alike that we could be twins. Hey, that would make it my birthday too!
Inside: You should take me to dinner. - Earl Musick
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5922
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FF BIRTHDAY - What do you get someone who has everything?
Inside: This card. - Rick Pulido
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4726
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FF BIRTHDAY - What you are holding in your hand is called a greeting card. In my day, we would give these to loved ones to mark important life events.
Inside: Happy birthday! - Daniela Saioni
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5254
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FF BIRTHDAY - When sleep doesn't make you feel any better ...
Inside: You are not tired, you are old. Happy birthday! - David Crowe
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5075
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FF BIRTHDAY - Why isn't there a national put a spider in your belly button day?
Inside: Speaking of special days, enjoy yours. Happy birthday. - Matt Olson
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4728
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FF BIRTHDAY - With age comes wisdom.
Inside: Whoever wrote that never saw slot machines in Vegas. Happy birthday. - Costaki  Economopolous
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4727
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FF BIRTHDAY - With age we must remember that our bodies are our temples. Say that three times, ...
Inside: Good. Now, let's mess this temple up! Happy Birthday! - Adrienne Fish
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5924
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FF BIRTHDAY - You know you're old when you go out and do shots ...
Inside: Flu and shingles. Enjoy your enhanced immunity! Happy birthday.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6221
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FF BIRTHDAY - You look great! Notice I didn't qualify that with "for your age."
Inside: Okay, for your age. Happy birthday. - Cathy Ladman
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5079
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FF BIRTHDAY - You're aging so gracefully.
Inside: You should have your own infomercial. Happy birthday.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5788
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FF BIRTHDAY - You're one year older.
Inside: You're getting closer and closer to the age where a life sentence isn't really that big of a threat. - Spencer Dobson
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5346
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FF BIRTHDAY - You're only as old as you feel.
Inside: Come here. Let me feel you. - Costaki Economopoulos
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5347
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FF BIRTHDAY - Young people's bodies naturally produce hope and enthusiasm, but those endorphins fade as they grow older.
Inside: Luckily for us, there's still booze.  Happy birthday! - Mat Alano-Martin
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5926
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FF BIRTHDAY - Your doctor says youíve got the body of an athlete...
Inside: Sure it's a bowler, but happy birthday anyway. - Rocky LaPorte
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5257
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FF CONGRATULATIONS - Congratulations!
Inside: You kick ass like a cross-eyed Rockette! - Lord Carrett
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4931
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FF CONGRATULATIONS - Congratulations! We are all insanely jealous.
Inside: Now isn't hearing that better than a gift? - Avi Liberman
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4718
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FF CONGRATULATIONS - Congratulations! You did it!
Inside: You did do it, right?
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5777
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FF CONGRATULATIONS - Congratulations! You proved all your fans right and proved all your doubters wrong!
Inside: No need to know which one I was. - Patti Vasquez
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4826
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FF CONGRATULATIONS - Get out of the house and start screwing up
Inside: That's what life is all about. Has nobody told you? - David Crowe
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5055
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FF CONGRATULATIONS - I know this might not be as gratifying as a 'like' on Facebook
Inside: But congratulations anyway!
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6209
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FF CONGRATULATIONS - Why don't you stop overachieving ...
Inside: And settle into the warm embrace of mediocrity like the rest of us? - Art Krug
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4717
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FF ENCOURAGEMENT - If you're confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.
Inside: Go for it. - Ross Parsons
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4761
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FF ENCOURAGEMENT - Never give up on your dreams.
Inside: Except the one about super powers - that one's not happening. - Paul Merrill
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4762
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FF ENCOURAGEMENT - Sometimes you unload the dishwasher halfway before discovering it's dirty ...
Inside: And you keep going because you're no quitter.
Price:
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Item No:
5786
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FF ENCOURAGEMENT - Succeeding after all your hard work is life's greatest joy.
Inside: Bacon is the second greatest. - Andrew Steiner
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5919
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FF FRIENDSHIP - After extensive research ...
Inside: Scientists have concluded that you're probably right about everything. - Paul Merrill
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4752
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Fitness tip: Wear workout clothes to the bakery.
Inside: So when people see you eating a scone, it looks like you earned it. - Joe Larson
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5054
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Follow your dreams.
Inside: I'm in them, right? - Bill Mihalic.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5912
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FF FRIENDSHIP - I liked you on Facebook, I followed you on Twitter, I connected with you on LinkedIn ...
Inside: This card seems very unnecessary. - Greg Schwem
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4753
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FF FRIENDSHIP - I love watching reality shows ...
Inside: When I compare our lives with theirs, I suddenly think, "My God! We should be wearing capes! We're awesome!" - Darlene Westgor
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4756
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FF FRIENDSHIP - I used to wonder why diets ...
Inside: And then I thought, maybe this much awesomeness can't possibly fit into a smaller size. - Meghan Flaherty
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4755
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FF FRIENDSHIP - I'm bored by my own problems.
Inside: Call me with yours. - Jackie Kashian
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5133
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FF FRIENDSHIP - I've been single so long ...
Inside: If a stranger in a van offered me some candy, I'd have to consider it. - Costaki Economopoulos
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5061
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Leggings aren't pants! Pants aren't pants! Everything is perception. Nothing is real. Existence is meaningless!
Inside: But at least you make it all worthwhile.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6211
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Let's stop feeling bad about all the food we've eaten.
Inside: I say we start feeling good about all the food we haven't eaten. - Patti Vasquez
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5250
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Meeting you was onef the happiest days of my life.
Inside: Besides finding my black boots on sale at Nordstrom. That was unbelievable! - Cathy Ladman
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5063
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FF FRIENDSHIP - My roommate said her cat barfed on my bed because she feels comfortable around me.
Inside: Let's always keep a little tension between us. I don't ever want to be barf-close. - Carmen Lynch
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4749
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Our friendship is like a reclining chair.
Inside: We go way back.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5785
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FF FRIENDSHIP - People who have never had a glass of wine before noon...
Inside: probably procrastinate in other areas of their life too. - David Crowe
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5344
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Self-help experts say that whatever you think about expands in the universe.
Inside: That's why I never think about my butt. - Karen Rontowski
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4751
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Some people look at the glass and say it's half full. Others look at the glass and say it's half empty.
Inside: You look at the glass and say, "Can't anyone pick up after themselves around here?" - Elliot Maxx
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4750
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FF FRIENDSHIP - Thank you for being my stretchy-yoga-pants-ponytail-no-make-up-tennis-shoes kind of friend.
Inside: (Just because we're dressed for the gym doesn't mean we really have to go, right?) - Andrea Caspari
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5920
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FF FRIENDSHIP - What's the difference between a stalker and a fan? If they're good looking, they're a fan.
Inside: I'm your biggest fan! - Lord Carrett
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5074
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FF FRIENDSHIP - When the revolution comes, we could be a sniper team!
Inside: It would be fun - us lying in the grass, you whispering coordinates. Come on, you always say we should get together more. - Drew Hastings
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4754
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FF FRIENDSHIP - You and I have been proven wrong a number of times.
Inside: And that number is zero. - Robert Mac
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4940
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FF FRIENDSHIP - You are my iPhone charger.
Inside: Without you, I panic and worry I'll be bored forever. - Yogi Paliwal
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5345
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FF FRIENDSHIP - You are the world's greatest gift to me.
Inside: I can't say that I'm the greatest gift to you because that would sound conceited. - David Crowe
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5076
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FF FRIENDSHIP - You are wonderful, stupendous, remarkable, beautiful.
Inside: And a bunch of other words from my thesaurus. - David Cornel
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5925
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FF FRIENDSHIP - You may be socially awkward ...
Inside: But you're my kind of socially awkward. - Craig Fay
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5256
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FF FRIENDSHIP - You're better off without him. I always thought he was a jerk.
Inside: And if you ever get back together, forget everything I just said. - Patti Vasquez
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4837
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FF FRIENDSHIP - You're my best friend.
Inside: Sorry. - Danielle Koenig
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4941
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FF FRIENDSHIP -You know, husbands are a lot like front-load washers. You think of how they're going to make your life easier.
Inside: But after a few month, you're saying, "What is that smell?" - Matthew Wohlfarth
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5078
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FF GET WELL - An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Inside: As long as you throw it hard enough.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4759
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FF GET WELL - Get well soon.
Inside: Hope nothing falls off. - Rick Pulido
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4758
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FF GET WELL - Get well soon.
So we can drink too much and feel like crap for a good reason. - Costaki Economopoulos
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5338
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FF GET WELL - Nobody likes going to the doctor.
Inside: But don't think the doctor likes everything that walks through his door either. Get well soon. - David Crowe
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5066
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FF GET WELL - Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Or is it good? I think it's well.
Inside: Get better soon so I can stop questioning my grammar. - Patti Vasquez
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5918
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FF GET WELL - This is a get-well for anyone without health insurance.
Inside: Just put it on an open wound and apply pressure. - Greg Schwem
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4760
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FF GET WELL - What is it about parking under a tree that give birds dysentery?
Inside: Speaking of which, hope you feel better. - Andy Forrester
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5073
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - A little friendly advice ...
Inside: No matter how well things are going, it's always bad form to high five someone at an orgy. - Scott Long
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4731
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - A petting zoo is a horrible place to eat raisinets.
Inside: There is no five-second rule at a petting zoo. If you lose one, LET IT GO; it was never meant to be. - Andy Forrester
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4743
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - As an environmentalist, you will love this card. It's made from recycled sentiments.
Inside: Congratulations! Happy birthday! Happy anniversary! Good luck! Get well soon. - Bill Mihalic.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5911
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Casseroles are a mom's way of saying, I'm not really going to cook ...
Inside: But you'll still be full. - David Crowe
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5052
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Congratulations on your successful surgery.
Inside: Oh. Those are real? Well then, just plain congratulations. - Bengt Washburn
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4737
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Dogs have 95% fewer germs in their mouths than people do.
Inside: But all the ones they have are from their butt.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5778
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - How many grapes can you sample before they run over and kick you out of the store?
Inside: 19 - Costaki Economopoulos
Price:
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Item No:
5340
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I am getting more and more age spots.
Inside: I've passed from cougar into leopard. - Cathy Ladman
Price:
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Item No:
5141
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I bought a free-range chicken. You know, the kind that runs free and gets pampered like a family pet, right up until the day they kill it.
Inside: It tasted surprised. - Art Krug
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4739
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I canít find the G spot.
Inside: I think it might be one of those silent G's. - Costaki Economopoulos
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5341
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I eat bacon every day. Sometimes 3 times a day.
Inside: It's delicious. And it helps keep my mind off these weird chest pains I keep having. - Andy Forrester
Price:
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Item No:
5056
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I figured out why cats lick themselves so much.
Inside: They're delicious. - Lord Carrett
Price:
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Item No:
4933
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I have taken up the discipline of Noga.
Inside: You start with the principles of yoga, and then you don't do them. - Adam Gropman
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5914
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I like to be different. I celebrate Halloween in August.
Inside: When you show up at someone's house wearing a mask in August, you get better stuff. - Karen Rontowski
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4738
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I love you so much!
Inside: Now, buy me something! - Sheila van Dyke
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5249
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I tried meditation.
Inside: I think I was doing it wrong. My meditation was, "Ohhhhmmmm my God, I've got so much to do I can't believe I am sitting here wasting time breathing instead of picking up my dry cleaning and making flight plans for next week and hey my chest hurts maybe I should see a doctor ... - Art Krug
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4740
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I wish relationships made a slurp sound at the end like milkshakes do.
Inside: (So you know when it's over.) - David Crowe
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5058
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I'm not saying you're smarter than me, but ...
Inside: I once spilled laundry detergent on my shirt and thought, "How do I wash this out?"
Price:
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Item No:
5783
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I've been exercising my demons lately.
I haven't gotten rid of any of them, but I've really been pushing them and making them sweat. - Tom Rhodes
Price:
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Item No:
5060
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - I've found the the best way to lose weight is to stop eating sugar.
Inside: I've also found that sugar is what makes food taste good. - Earl Musick
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5062
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - If you have a room full of Good Housekeeping magazines, you are probably a hoarder.
Inside: And you should probably cancel your subscription, because I don't think it's working. - Andy Forrester
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4742
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - My chemistry teacher says ...
Inside: Alcohol is a solution. - Robert Mac
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5064
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - My doctor told me the pill will cause weight gain, moodiness, and body hair growth.
Inside: No wonder they call it ďbirth control." Who wants to sleep with a cranky walrus? - Tracey MacDonald
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4831
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - My friend is dyslexic and on the Atkins diet.
Inside: He won't eat crabs. - Adam Gropman
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5065
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Never lie about passing gas.
Inside: If you do, people might think that's your regular smell. - Elliot Maxx
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4746
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - People are like snowflakes. They are all unique. Here are some other ways in which people are like snowflakes:
Inside: 1. They are fragile. 2. When there are a lot of them, they make trying to get anything done dangerous and difficult. 3. They will disappear eventually, unless you keep them in a freezer.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
6213
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Please take off your shoes at the door.
Inside: I want your socks to be covered in cat fur. - Craig Fay
Price:
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Item No:
5251
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Relax. Your hormonal rages won't last forever. One day they will end.
Inside: Then you will grow a beard. - Cathy Sorbo
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4745
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Skinny jeans recipe:
Inside: Buy regular jeans and wait. - Gabriel Rutledge
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4833
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Some doctors say it is unhealthy to eat raw cookie dough.
Inside: All the other doctors just think those doctors are crazy.
Price:
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Item No:
6215
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Some people don't know their ass from their elbow.
Inside: If these people ask you to take a look at their "funny bone", don't. - Costaki Economopolous
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4747
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Sometimes I start to think life would be easier if I were a house cat ...
Inside: Still like being human. - Mikey Scott
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5917
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Speaking to a cat in a high-pitched voice creates endorphins.
Inside: Getting caught erases them. - Dwight Slade
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4744
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Sunglasses make me feel like I'm hot.
Inside: Or maybe that's the sun. - David Crowe
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5067
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - The best way to convince yourself to wake up:
Inside: Promise your Morning Self that your Afternoon Self can take a nap later.
Price:
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Item No:
6216
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - The creator of Spanx is a billionaire.
Inside: Of course she is. Because bacon and doughnuts are delicious. - Patti Vasquez
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4748
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - The veterinarian told me I had to put down the cat.
Inside: So I went home and told the cat, "You're fat and you're stupid." - Adam Gropman
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5069
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - They say a great way to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a mirror.
Inside: That doesn't work, by the way. And, consequently, I'm no longer welcome at Target. - Andy Forrester
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4741
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - This global warming thing is really a problem.
Inside:It hasn't rained men since the 80's. - Daniela Saioni
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5142
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - Want to come over for game night?
Inside: I'm cooking pheasant, pigeon, and squirrel. - Dave Terruso
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5071
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - What if dolphins aren't leaping out of the water because they're happy?
Inside: What if theyr'e doing it because they hate water? - Craig Fay
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5923
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FF JUST FOR LAUGHS - You're the man of my dreams ...
Inside: I've been having some weird dreams. - Myq Kaplan
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5348
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FF NEW BABY - Congrats! You made a person!
Inside: I can't even make lasagna.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5776
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FF NEW BABY - Congratulations! Babies are truly miracles. When they're born, their feet are so tiny...
Inside: Yet they can somehow step on all of your hopes and dreams. - Chad Daniels
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4830
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FF NEW BABY - Dr. Lamaze suggests you can control the pain of childbirth through proper breathing.
Inside: I think he's the same doctor who told the guy with a broken leg to "walk it off." Congratulations. - Elliot Maxx
Price:
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Item No:
4716
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FF NEW BABY - Now that you're having a baby, you can't go to the spa whenever you want or travel halfway across the world at a moment's notice.
Inside: But I can! And I promise to tell you all about it. Congratulations. - Carmen Lynch
Price:
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Item No:
4715
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FF NEW BABY - The reason parenting is so difficult:
Inside: The job itself is completely unrelated to the application process. Congratulations. - Elliot Max
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5068
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FF NEW BABY - Welcome to motherhood, the world's greatest sorority...
Inside: With the worst hazing ever. Congratulations. - Patti Vasquez
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5072
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FF THANK YOU - Ever notice that "Thank You" is very close to "Spank You?"
Inside: I'll never be able to spank you enough. - Costaki Economopoulos
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5337
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FF THANK YOU - I feel like if the Zombie Apocolypse happened and I got turned into a Zombie and you didn't, you're the kind of friend that would lock me in a pit in his basement and feed me rats.
Inside: Thanks
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5143
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FF THANK YOU - I was going to surprise naked-hug you
Inside: But someone told me you preferred thank you cards. - David Crowe
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4828
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FF THANK YOU - If being great makes others look bad ...
Inside: You make everyone look downright diabolical. - David Crowe
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4829
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FF THANK YOU - In some cultures, people show their thanks by giving their most prized possession.
Inside: I'm not from that culture. Thanks anyway. - Robert Mac
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
4936
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FF THANK YOU - In this day and age of technology and social media, we rarely take the time to truly express our feelings ...
Inside: #props - Kermet Apio
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5916
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FF THANK YOU - Some of the best things in life: a mother's love, a baby laughing, standing ovations, big hair, rainbow-colored unicorn toots, your name whispered in a foreign accent, sunsets, jet packs, your own private ocean, FOOD FIIIIIGHT!!!!
Inside: And you. Not necessarily in that order. - David Crowe
Price:
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Item No:
4835
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FF THANK YOU - Thank you so much.
Inside: My expectation of you just increased.
Price:
$5.95 ea
Item No:
5787
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FF THANK YOU - Things that totally suck: Vacuums. Straws. Anteaters.
Inside: Things that don't totally suck: You. Thank You!
Price:
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Item No:
6218
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